"I love the nightlife, " but please don't talk to me if you're not willing to invest 6 goats upfront.

We do not have class on Fridays, which allows us an opportunity for study, recreation, or pre-planned field trips. This week, we did not have any trips planned for Friday (although we have our mini-safari tomorrow), so Thursday night was like a Friday to us. So -- we went out with our South African friends.

The nightlife in Johannesburg is very similar to that in the States (save Las Vegas, which is like going from the farm team to the big leagues two weeks into the regular season). There are various bars, taverns, clubs, coffee houses, music venues, and after-hours restaurants to fit anyone's fancy. Last weekend, we ventured into Melville and went to a bar called Six, which is a relatively new venue with a young, upbeat crowd. We also went to a restaurant in one of the more, uh, lived-in districts (I don't want to worry my mom) which had live music by an Afro-Arab-Spanish fusion band, followed by a DJ who spun until about 4 am.

Back to this week (more specifically last night), we decided to head into the Newtown district and check out a place called Sophiatown (pronounced: Sef-eye-a town), a restaurant/lounge named after a famous racially integrated neighborhood that was tragically bulldozed by the apartheid government back in the early 1960s. [And now, a brief history lesson: Reminiscent of the village of Harlem in New York City, Sophiatown the township was very much a cultural center for blacks and coloreds (including the very few Chinese in Jo'Burg) -- a place where jazz, art, dance, and political resistance intersected. In its place, the government built a white suburb called Triomf (Afrikaans for "triumph").]

Anyway, the restaurant Sophiatown had a sort of bohemian atmosphere and was smartly decorated with photos and memorabilia of the fallen neighborhood, and the sounds of jazz and lively conversation wafted through the air. One of our South African classmates brought his old law school chum, who is now a clark (law clerk) for one of the Justices of the Constitutional Court. So we all were talking and enjoying our beverages, and I wanted to pick this guy's brain. So I did. And I found out that the Con Court accepts applications from foreign students to clark for their justices (for one 6-month term). AND at the end of the term, those clarks get scholarships to the LLM program of their choice. Food for thought.

I ended up getting much more information than I bargained for. After we talked about the different justices on the Court, their personalities, and their zany antics during oral argument, my new friend decided to tell me his life goals. The first of which was to have children within the next 3 years. This confused me, because he wasn't wearing a wedding band, and he didn't bring a girlfriend to the bar with him. And -- yes -- I'm nosy, so I asked: "Do you have the woman yet? I mean, babies don't get dropped onto your doorstep by the stork." Yes, I ALWAYS have to be a smart-alec. I was prepared for him to give me a snide reply, but instead, he said to me: "Well, I am looking for a wife. Maybe you would be interested in this job?"

Uh, no thanks, sir. I'm just here to break stuff. Talk about a buzzkill -- he was only talking to me because he wanted to drop that completely lame marriage proposal. And, unlike the men who wanted to marry me in Turkey, he didn't even offer any livestock in exchange for my hand! Shoot, I'm American, sucka. As a public service announcement to all South African men: I am not interested in making a love connection. And even if I were, your average Joes could not afford me. My bride price needs to be paid in U.S. Dollars, and it WILL be steep!

Let's figure out Kareema's bride price by engaging in a simple calculation:
Attributes
Years of schooling: 22
Excellent cook: +5
No children from a previous thing: +5
Not hard on the eyes: +5
American = bratty: -2

So we add up the attributes: 22+5+5+5-2= 35
That's the number of goats I get as my bride price. Then, you must convert to cash, because my parents aren't farmers. I think one goat = approx $2,000 USD.
Thus: 2,000 x 35 = $70,000 USD

That's enough to pay off most of my student loans! Maybe I CAN afford to go into Human Rights advocacy . . .

Anyway, I decided to stay in my freezing cold dorm room tonight, mostly because I have a cold and want to be well enough to go on the safari tomorrow. But partially because I cannot hack another goatless marriage proposal. Come correct, brothers!